This morning I ran into my ex boyfriend. We broke up last year because he was "moving" to California.



When I was younger I used to poop and not whip my butt. I used to have poop streaks all in my underwear and would always say it was chocolate.



When I turned 7, my parents left me home alone. I decided to see what was in the medicine closet. I opened it, and I saw that the bottle of 'that yummy cherry liquid' was open. I jumped up and drank it. When my parents got home, they saw me on the floor. They took me to poison control, and I stayed at the hospital for five days. They said i could have died!



I'm 48, I pee my bed and suck my thumb.



As a drunk mexican at parties, I tell people I am hawaiian so i dont have to listen to them use their 5th grade spanish.


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