When I was young I used to lie left and right. I once told my teacher my parents killed and ate my pet German Shepard. You should have seen her face!



A couple of weeks ago i finally had the courage to tell my crush i liked her. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my eyes.



Today my dad took a nap. After four hours he was still in the room and i thought that he might have been dead, since he already had two heart attacks. I started worrying and thinking about what to do, when i heard two deep burps coming from the room. I was never so happy to hear someone burping.



I work in a drugstore, and whenever a kid comes in and awkwardly tells me he wants to buy condoms, I say it out loud enough so that everybody can hear it, to make him feel even more awkward. LOL!



When I was 7, I found a pad In my moms room and used it for toilet paper. I thought it was a rich people tissue.


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