Often times, when I'm alone, I enact situations that I either wish had happened earlier in the past or will happen in the near future. None of the things I say actually happen in reality. #FML #loser
I just found out that the birthmark that I had my whole life on my shoulder is actually a fungus, that's been expanding since when I was little. FML.
My mum forgot the keys to the house. Had to climb over the gate, onto the roof and through a window in skinny jeans. I sprained my ankle walking down the stairs. FML
My friends convinced me to talk to my crush so I went over to go talk to him and I accidentally farted. It was really loud and stinky. FML
I regret going to my gay friend's house really drunk after my girlfriend just broke up with me. I just woke up in his bed naked, he's naked and sleeping. #FML