The first time I ever made out was at the age of 8. With my slobbering dog. (It was an accident). #fml
Once when I was 11 my cat came into the bathroom when I was taking a shower and I didn't have my contacts in so I thought it was a squirrel. So, of course, I screamed and my brother came running in and saw me naked. He told everyone at school I was flat chested. fml
I just found out that the birthmark that I had my whole life on my shoulder is actually a fungus, that's been expanding since when I was little. fml.
One time in Science class, I was reading from out of the text book aloud and when I got to the word organism I said orgasm.. #fml
I was home alone, so I got bored and went in my parent's medicine closet. I found a bottle that said 'juicy pineapple,' so I picked it up. I drank a little, and then i found out it was pineapple flavored lube. #fml