I cut a hole in my giant teddy bear, and I have sex with it every day after school. sorry mr Patches!
The other day I hacked into my girlfriend's Facebook, because lately she's been avoiding me and I thought she was cheating. Turns out she was busy organizing a surprise birthday party for me. sorry babe!
When I was younger, I would lock my great grandma down the basement. Now I feel really bad that I did that and that I can't say sorry because she passed a few years ago.
When i was 5 i lived in Germany and i had a kitten. Her name was Max like the dog from the Grinch. She had trouble going to the bathroom so i "helped" by squeezing the poor kitten until it pooped... Max mysteriously ran away the next week. sorry Max, hope you poop ok now.