Three years ago I found a cellphone on the street. I looked for info to give it back but it was completely empty. My secret is that nobody reported it, so i've been calling for free the whole time! I kinda feel guilty for the guy that will have to pay a huge bill though...



When my fiancè is not snoring in his sleep, I panic and have to check if he is still alive.



The guy working at the gas station last night thought I was homeless and paid for my chips and root beer. I think it's time to stop wearing pjs in public.



I wish capes were still into fashion, they are just so amazing!



One time my neighbors were being extremely loud, and when I went to tell them to please be quite they told me to go screw myself. So I went home and ordered pizza to their house from 7 different restaurants, and spent the night waiting for pizza guys to bother them


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