For four years, I've been living a lie. Been with this girl and I don't love her, never told her I loved her. On her dad's deathbed he told her to marry me so I felt obligated to be with her. I even had a baby with her. I'm pretty much a douche bag.



When I'm extremely upset at my fiance I don't think of ways to 'make her pay', rather I try to think of some romantic gesture to remind myself that I love her, and that these are the thoughts she deserves from me.



I heard my sister singing in the shower one day so I recorded it and put it online. The next day I woke up and she had committed suicide.



I just realized that the only female that shows any sexual interest in me is my 60 years old neighbor.



One time, I went to the doctors because I was having morning sickness and I thought I was pregnant. When I finally went to the doctor he told me I was pregnant with a big smile. I was really happy, but then he quickly said "no I'm just kidding, you just have a stomach bug."


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